Full Circle
by iminlovewithaboynamedJESS
Summary: AU. RoryJess. Her goal- to be independent. His- to get away. And as strong as they are, they must learn to cling together, because it is the only way to get out alive. A bit dark. AU. Literati.
1. Catapult into Space

Full Circle  
  
Summary: AU. Her goal- to be independent. His- to get away. And as strong as they are, they must learn to cling together, because it is the only way to get out alive. AU. Literati.  
  
Discaimer: I don't own the characters from Gilmore Girls. I do own the other minor ones that will make an appearance from time to time. The story is all my own.  
  
Rating: Pg-13/R. I'm going to leave it PG-13 for now at least.  
  
AN: I'm back. This is a weird idea that I've had. I can't seem to get past chapter three, but I'm sure something will work out. Anyways, please read and tell me what you think!  
  
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Chapter 1: Catapult into Space  
  
A morning like any other. Bright blue sky hiding just above the hazy fog as the city awoke from its slumber. There had been similar conditions nearly every day for as long as she could remember. For almost fourteen years, in every apartment, every home she lived in, Rory woke up at the crack of dawn to see the sun trying to peek its way through tiny openings in the smoky miasma. This morning there was no change, nothing different in the sky or the bustling people below. There was a reason, she figured, that this was the city that never sleeps. It was monotonous, redundant, and utterly boring to her. She sank back on her bed and closed her eyes, opening her mind to a steady flow of thoughts, emotions, and memories.  
  
She had lived in New York practically all of her life. She knew that she had been born in Hartford, Connecticut, but had moved here with her young mother barely a week after being released from the hospital. Rory knew none of the circumstances, simply that she had lived in an apartment in Tribeca, furnished by her mother's substantial trust fund. That apartment was where the men came to take her away. That's what it was like. At the age of three, you have no sense of logic. All she could think of was the fact that her mommy had gone to the office downstairs to make a phone call. She was going to come back.  
  
It took her many years to finally understand what had happened. She never actually found out how her mother died, and frankly she wasn't too interested in the details. She had no souvenirs of her prior life except for a vague memory of a trip to the zoo and the knowledge that she bears her mothers name. She knows nothing of her extended family. The social workers had searched high and low for relatives, but they evidently had not wanted to be found. So, at the age of three, Rory embarked on her new life, full of constantly changing homes and families.  
  
Now, at the age of seventeen, she finds herself in a three-bedroom apartment on the lower-east side, surrounded by a middle-age couple, Jim and Angie, who insist on her calling them "mom & dad" (she never does), and two other foster children- a boy and a girl, twins, named Dillon and Zoë. All she can do now is hang onto the single shred of hope she has left, which is that she can leave at eighteen and go out on her own. Maybe go to college, if she finds one that will give her a full ride. That was her dream, although she would never tell anyone that. She never told anyone much, for that matter. She had herself to keep her company, and she thought that it was enough to keep her going for a while. Little did she know how wrong she was.  
  
But on this morning, Rory had other things to worry about. Realizing the time, she jumped out of bed, and grabbed a random book off the shelf, anxious to grab breakfast and get out the door before Jim and Angie are able to bombard her with activities to waste her last free days of summer before school starts up again. Unfortunately, though, she's wasted too much time in bed this morning, and as she exits her bedroom she sees them walking in the front door. Rory notes the odd timing, considering the two were not prone to early morning jogs around the neighborhood. Still, she ignores them and sulks into the kitchen to search for some pop-tarts. It is not until she comes back out of the kitchen, having discovered the lack of breakfast foods, that she noticed the reason for their odd behavior. Walking, slouched, through the front door behind them, was a boy about Rory's age, maybe a little bit older, who was staring at the floor while dragging his olive green duffel bag behind. She believed that the older couple had given brief introductions, but Rory had only barely caught his name.  
  
She was slightly intrigued by him, although not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because this was the first person remotely her age that she had stayed with so far. Perhaps it was because he was roguishly attractive with messy hair and baggy clothes. Maybe it was because it was the first person she had seen in a long time that seemed he might have more of an edge, a personality, than she herself. Or possibly it was because, behind the characteristically sad eyes of a person in his situation, there was a small, almost non-existent glimmer of hope. It was this glimmer that told Rory that, although Jess had lived a tough life, he ain't seen nothing yet.  
  
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AN: Short, I know! The next one will be too, but they're just introductions. After that they will get much longer. Please review and tell me what you think! 


	2. Laughter is Lacking

Full Circle  
  
AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! I'm hope you all continue to enjoy this! Please let me know what you think, I could really use the help as I get started!  
  
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Chapter 2- Laughter is Lacking  
  
It was like a joke. He had come back to his mom's apartment last night to find all the suits already waiting for him in the living room. He hadn't even heard that Liz had been arrested, but he never was very privy to any of her secrets. So there he was, standing, shocked, in the apartment while these perfect strangers prepared to tell him that he was about to live with some pseudo-family while his mother served whatever time the judge sentenced her with. And all of a sudden, he was bolting back out the door again. It wasn't like this was his home, it was just a place to crash when he needed it. But he certainly wasn't going to allow himself to be put into the system just because his legal guardian didn't know how to quit while she was ahead.  
  
He was quick. Unfortunately, he had a record, and child services was prepared to stop him at all costs. And the security guys were just a little quicker. So that's how it happened that, after a few hours in the district office, he was now standing at the bright red door of an unfamiliar apartment with two very normal (read psychotic) old people who were just a little too chipper for this hour of the morning. Eyes down, he hoped that the lack of response from him would finally get them to stop talking. No such luck.  
  
The door opened, and he found himself surrounded by white wall-to-wall carpeting. This was what he focused on, because it was so ordinary, but still so strange. He knew no one who owned white carpets, simply because, after enough parties or enough kids or enough break-ins, those carpets are history. He wasn't sure that he would be able to get used to a life like this.  
  
Taking one thing at a time, he shifted his gaze from the carpet and glanced quickly around the room. He was stopped by a pair of bright blue eyes shining back at him. Those were not eyes for a place like this. Maybe for a life with Jim and Angie, but not for the life that you entered as soon as you stepped out of their door. This girl seemed innocent, so out of place, yet there was something, an attitude or an edge, which told Jess that she had adjusted to her life, that she lived in the world outside. Rory. He thought that's what they said. Could've been Laurie, or Tory, but he thought he heard right. But before he even really got a chance to see her, she gave him a disgusted look and forced her way out the door behind him.  
  
They left him alone in his room to unpack. Technically, he was sharing it with the boy twin, Jess couldn't exactly remember his name, but it didn't matter too much because Jess wouldn't be around much for late-night chats about girls and school anyway. He was alone for now, with Jim and Angie down at the flea market, and he was taking full advantage of the situation. Stretched out on the bed, he held out his well tattered copy of 'Howl' at arms length, but found he couldn't concentrate on his reading for once. Instead, he was thinking about how, in the blink of an eye, his life had changed. It was like a joke, some sort of comedic irony that he had never studied before and wasn't quite sure how to handle.  
  
It wouldn't last long he figured. By morning he would have disappeared again. Or that was the plan at least.  
  
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AN: Well, there it is. Chapter two. Short again, and I'm sorry! It didn't turn out as I had planned, but I'm still rather pleased. Introductions are now complete, and the next chapters will bring us into the lives of our two favorite people. Please let me know what you think! 


	3. Early Morning Jog?

Full Circle  
  
AN: Thank you, everyone, for all the reviews and support! I know that the first two chapters were short, but I promise to keep them as long as possible (for me) from now on! Please read, enjoy, and review!  
  
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Ch3- Early Morning Jog?  
  
He always woke up at that strange time, a little before dawn, when the sky is brighter and tinged a light pink color by the horizon, but the sun has not yet risen. It was almost always the same time, though he never set an alarm. His internal clock always told him what time to wake up, well before he was liable to catch Liz awake and in one of her 'moods'. This was so as to be as far away from the apartment as possible before she started throwing things because she couldn't remember where she had hidden her stash the night before when she came home in a drunken stupor. It was always something like that, and after the first few times, Jess learned his lesson.  
  
This morning was different from those though, because he wasn't back home in Liz's apartment, but someplace different, unfamiliar. This was not shocking to him, since he was constantly out somewhere for the night, usually passed out, and often woke to strange surroundings. It took him several minutes to remember where he was, and even then, only because he saw his still-packed bag sitting on the floor by the bed. That sight was all it took to get him up and out of bed in a flash. He grabbed 'Howl' from under his pillow, his socks from the bottom of the bed, and his shoes. 'Howl' went in the duffel with the rest of his books, the socks went on his feet, and the shoes remained in his hands so as not to wake the rest of the house.  
  
He knew better than to go out the front door, so he headed for the window in the small living room. Luckily, it had been a cool night and all the windows in the apartment were open for air circulation. Made for a more inconspicuous exit. He stepped through the frame with skill, out onto the fire escape landing, which was bigger than he would have expected. On the fifth floor, facing east, this spot made a wonderful one to sit and watch the sun rise, or hide out from people you didn't want to see, or just read. The last one was what attracted Jess the most, and if he had time, he would have sat down with a book for a while, but he had to leave. So he dropped his shoes, quietly mind you, onto the metal landing and stepped into them. He was not looking forward to the five-story climb down the fire escape, but he didn't have much choice. He just hoped that everyone else had their shades closed.  
  
He was only three rungs down the ladder when a quiet voice nearly made him jump out of his skin. He looked up and there was Rory sitting quietly in the corner between the brick wall and the wrought iron railing, reading a book. From his vantage point, he couldn't read the title, but that was the last thing on his mind at the moment. Jess couldn't believe that he hadn't seen her sitting there, but she was so quiet, so motionless that she seemed to blend in. And plus, who would have expected to fun into another fellow teenager outside, fully functional, at 5:30 am? He supposed that she had been watching his motions the whole time. Finally, after his brain processed this fact, he realized that she had actually spoken to him, but he hadn't been paying attention. "What?" he asked.  
  
She looked at him like he had three heads. Then, realizing that she had probably scared the crap out of the tough city guy, she chuckled before repeating herself. "I asked you where you're going. No wait, I'm going to guess. Dressed like that, you must be headed for an early morning jog in the park." After a smirk and a raise of the eyebrow from the party in question, who was wearing jeans and a black leather jacket, she continued. "No? Well, certainly then you must be off to pick up your girlfriend from her apartment on 5th Avenue for a brunch at Tavern on the Green." She glanced down at his high-top Chuck Taylors before laughing once more.  
  
She kept going, knowing from his posture that she was annoying the hell out of him. "So then, neither of those is the case? I know you're not running away, because boys with good books in their suitcases aren't that dumb." He had been staring down at the street, watching the people pass directly below them, but with that last statement he looked back at her, directly in her eyes.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.  
  
She smirked at him and responded, "You know. The Great Gatsby, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Allen Ginsberg, Hemingway, A Separate Peace. Good books."  
  
He shot an irritated look at her. He was antsy, waiting for her answer so that he could know if it was safe for him to leave, and she was avoiding the question. "That's not what I meant. Why can't I leave? I don't see any reason I should hang around here any longer."  
  
"Jess," she started, in an annoying, motherly tone, "I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. You can't stay away for long. Those damn social workers know more about you than your own mother."  
  
He snorted, interrupting her. "That's not hard."  
  
"Fine," she said, obviously not used to someone contradicting her, "they know you better than you know yourself. They'll come and get you, and you'll be back in foster care in two, three days tops. That's the way it works."  
  
He stood motionless for a moment, seeming to ponder what she had just told him, but when he looked back at her, his eyes were set and cold. "It's worth a try, isn't it? How much worse could it be? IF, and that's only an 'if' at this point, I do get caught, I just get brought back here. There's nothing to lose."  
  
Rory looked nostalgic for a moment, with an almost sad look in her eye, before she came back to reality and responded.  
  
"I'm not sure why I care since you're obviously intent on fucking up your life. But I am going to tell you one more thing and allow you to make your own decision, because you seem like a big boy. Now, if what you say were true, you are right. You would have absolutely nothing to lose except a few hours in the custody of some big freaking guys. It doesn't work that way though. They catch you, one of several things might happen: A) they take a look at your record (now I don't know what that is, and it might not matter) and they decide to throw you in Juvi. B) they decide to go easy on you and schedule you for therapy. Not the end of the world, obviously, but these aren't Ben Affleck or Angelina Jolie's shrinks. These guys are crazy. But that's a story for another time.  
  
"Those are the two things that will happen to you. Even if you only get therapy sessions, you won't be coming back here. They'll send you to some halfway house for teens or a different foster home. And, as my last bit of input, let me tell you that of all the places I've lived in the past fourteen years (and there have been a lot), this is the best place I've found. Now I can't stand it, but hell, its clean and you get regular meals. Ask anyone. Most other places, you're lucky to get running water out of the tap. That's all I have to say. Now I'm, going to go back to my book, and you can make whatever decision you want."  
  
And she did just that. She didn't even do the thing where you pretend to be reading but instead your watching something happening. She just sat there, in her corner under the window, and read her book while Jess stood, leaning as far out over the railing as he could, trying to wrap his head around this whole new, entirely different situation. He knew that he couldn't stay, but he made up his mind. Until he got a better plan, he had to share the room with the boy, and put up with the hyper old people, and listen to the know-it-all girl from a different world. She might just be right, and he wasn't sure that was a risk he was willing to take.  
  
So with that, he sat down in the corner of the landing opposite Rory and pulled out his own book to read. At this point, he could read the cover of her book, and he cringed. 'The Fountainhead."  
  
"That woman is a nut," he said, more to himself than to Rory, but it was more than loud enough for her to hear.  
  
"Hey, I didn't ask you to join me just so that you could insult such an amazing political writer. In fact, I don't remember asking you to join me at all." Rory grinned as she saw Jess' eyes drop back to his own book, a red tint in his cheeks. She decided to throw a few more punches before she finished with him. "And what gives you the right to criticize when you're sitting over there reading Hemingway?"  
  
He looked up incredulously, but she continued unfazed. "His books are soo boring. We had to read one of them for freshman English. I never thought I would refuse to read any book, but I did. Thank God for Cliffs notes at the library or else I never would have passed that class."  
  
He snorted, a small smile, almost indiscernible, played on his lips. And with that, he jumped up, grabbed 'The Fountainhead' right out of her hands, and dove back through the open window into the living room with Rory fast on his heels. It took while, but she managed to catch up with Jess just as he was walking over the threshold into his room. With one swift move, she had knocked him over and kept him pinned beneath her knees on the carpet. He gave up, a little shocked at the position they found themselves in, so she grabbed the book out of his hands and shifted her weight back to get to her feet.  
  
Jess just stared as she got up and dusted herself off. He was sure that he'd never seen anyone like her before. He was mesmerized by the blue of his eyes, the color of the ocean in the Caribbean on a cloudless day. He was awakened from his reverie by a light kick in the ribs, and was met by a dark look on Rory's face.  
  
"Don't bother borrowing any of my books in the future," she said angrily before storming across the hall to her own room, leaving Jess horrified. It had all been in good fun, or so he thought. They were having a teasing conversation on the fire escape, and then he's knocked on the floor and she's pissed. He wasn't sure what to do. Slowly he lifted himself off the floor and walked into the bathroom, turning the shower knobs all the way to hot, and hopping in, hoping to wash away everything that had happened in the past two days.  
  
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AN: Okay I wasn't entirely sure where I wanted this chapter to go. In fact, I'm not sure this is the direction I wanted it to go in. Fear not, it will all work out in the end! I know Rory's character is strange, but hopefully I can make up for it later. And I'm sorry that Jess is not entirely Jess-like. I'll work on that too. Please review and let me know what you think, I would really appreciate it! 


	4. ExtraSensory Perception

Full Circle  
  
AN: Sunday was my birthday, and I'm a big girl now. Hah, if only I acted my age! But I got a brand new gorgeous laptop because my old one has been dying forever. So I'm very excited, especially since it has a photo application, which I've never had before, so I've been having fun making Milo banners. And I have a much intensified love for Adam Brody, so I've made a few Adam/ Dave Rygalski banners as well! Hehe. Okay, I'm done babbling now.  
  
Thank you to all of you who have reviewed my first few chapters, you make me so happy! I hope you all enjoy this!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gilmore Girls. I do own those who don't appear on the show. The plot is entirely my own!  
  
Rating: So far still PG-13, but there is some offensive language. You have been warned!  
  
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Ch4- Extra-Sensory Perception  
  
Once she had slammed her bedroom door and sunk down to the floor on the other side, Rory allowed herself to feel a little guilty about what she had done. She had only meant to rattle his bones a little, give him a rough time. She never meant to yell at him, hell, she hardly knew him and he was in an entirely new place. She almost, ALMOST, went back out to apologize. But she didn't, instead she just crawled back into her bed and curled up under the covers.  
  
By the time she woke up again, it was nearly ten o'clock, well after she knew Jim and Angie would have left for work. She got up and grabbed her clothes and towel and walked out the door to the bathroom without stopping to think about the new boy until she was already in the hallway. His door was open, and he was sitting propped up against the bed, facing the door, with a thick novel in his hands. His eyes found hers for a moment, and she was caught off guard with all of her walls down. He could read her feelings and emotions for that one short second before she looked away. By the time that she looked back , her face was set as stone and her eyes were cold. He didn't let that discourage him, however, and he decided to speak anyway.  
  
"I still think that this woman is crazy." Rory remained emotionless, but Jess could have sworn he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes. She took one step inside his bedroom door, not daring to enter any further into enemy territory. One more glance at his book told her immediately that he was reading 'The Fountainhead', and based on the well-worn condition of the cover and the inside pages, it was her copy. She could have laughed, but decided against it for the moment. "You stole my book!" she cried.  
  
"I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you," he retorted. That comment didn't faze Rory in the least, instead she seemed preoccupied by another thought. "How'd you get it out of my room?" She seemed a little concerned, but tried her hardest not to let it show, pretending to be little more than interested in his criminal strategy. "Magic," was his only answer.  
  
"God, Jess, I've barely known you for one day and already you're fishing around in my room. While I'm in there, asleep, no less! Jesus," she muttered as though she were trying to work it all out in her own head. He was unconcerned with her anger or her accusations. In fact, he seemed almost amused. "Hey, you were fully clothed in there," he provided, somewhat sarcastically, as justification.  
  
"What are you, psychic now?" she was practically screaming now, seething with fury. He stood calmly a few feet away from her now, and allowed a few moments pause to clear the air before responding. "I prefer to call it extra-sensory perception, thank you very much." He seemed pretty pleased with his answer, but Rory only got more red in the face. After a few moments of silence, Jess having decided that anything he said would be wrong, Rory spoke again, much more collected now. "Listen, I don't really mind if you borrow my books. Please, please, just ask me instead of taking them for yourself."  
  
Jess wasn't sure how to respond to that, but he figured that she was fishing for an apology, and for his own sanity, he decided to give one. "Look, I'm sorry that I upset you but borrowing your books. I just wanted to give good old Ayn another shot, since you obviously like her so much. I thought maybe it would put us on better footing." Rory's expression softened a little, but Jess could see that she wasn't exactly touched by his apology, but that new look on her face was one of pity. He instantly scolded himself for sounding so desperate and naïve, quickly thrusting the book into Rory's hands and turning to walk past her out the door.  
  
Rory stood there for a moment, feeling sorry for Jess, who was obviously hurting so much in his new environment. To those who knew her, this would seem strange, because she rarely showed compassion towards anyone, but she knew what it was like to be the new kid in a brand new place, and feel so lonely and so much of an outcast. Before she even knew what she was doing, she was walking towards the living room window that led to the fire escape.   
  
She was not surprised to find him standing there. He was fishing through his pockets for some unknown treasure, which after a minute of observance, Rory realized was a lighter for the cigarette which was, for the moment, forgotten in his left hand. He found it, along with a pack of gum, two movie ticket stubs, about three pounds of loose change, and a condom (still in its package). She still stood silently behind him, not yet willing to express her presence to him. He lifted the cigarette to his lips slowly, and inhaled deep as he held the flame to the end. She made a small noise, and Jess turned around quickly, startled, with his cigarette still dangling from his lips.  
  
"Can I have a drag of that?" she asked, as she stepped out of the window and walked directly up to him. Their faces were barely inches apart as she removed the cigarette from his mouth. She broke eye contact as she spun the deadly cylinder between her thumb and forefinger, before bringing it to her own lips and breathing in the smoke, savoring the bitter taste it left in her mouth. She looked out over the railing at the skyline, the edges of her mouth tugging up slightly to form a small, twisted smile. Then she handed the cigarette back to him before leaning in to whisper "Thanks," in his ear and giving him a short, sweet kiss on the cheek.  
  
She turned around to head back into the apartment when Jess reached out and took hold of her wrist, spinning her back around to face him again. He leaned in and kissed her passionately, and before either one knew what was happening, Rory had pushed him up against the brick wall of the building. They stumbled, trying not to break the kiss, towards the window, and managed to tumble back through the small opening. Rory landed on top of Jess, and, straddling him, finally broke the kiss for a moment to pull his shirt over his head. Just as Jess had pulled Rory's tank top off and was working on the clasp of her bra, they heard the click of a key in the lock and scrambled to fix their clothing and look presentable by the time the unwanted intruder made their way to the living room.  
  
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AN: Sorry for all the mix of emotions, it just seemed to make sense in my strange state of mind. Also, I apologize for the way this chapter seemed to progress, probably much to fast for the real Jess and Rory. I wouldn't get your panties into a bunch about this, just be glad that I included this scene at all! You'll understand why in the next chapter or so. By the way, I have a good idea of where the next few chapters are going, and where I want the story to ultimately end up, by I'm having a little trouble with the execution. I would really appreciate reviews telling me what you did and did not like about this chapter, or any of the chapters, it really helps me out! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review! 


	5. No More Connections

Full Circle  
  
AN: wow. Sorry its been so long, I had part of this written and then I couldn't decide where to take it. Personally I think the ending to this chapter is really awful, but I didn't know what else to do. Thanks to all of those who have been reading and reviewing, you are awesome! Keep up the good work!  
  
Ch5- No More Connections  
  
It had just been Jim, coming home to the apartment to check on the two older kids (the twins were apparently with friends for the day), and to grab some lunch. He looked suspicious when he saw them in the living room, but didn't say anything. Once he had had gone back to the office, Jess was finally able to breathe again. He looked at Rory, who was still silent next to him, and observed the crimson color in her cheeks. When he reached out to touch her arm, she looked up, shocked to see him still sitting there. With a brief, sad, almost apologetic look, she rose quickly from the couch and walked back to her own room. She stopped in the doorway and turned back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… this is just too much."  
  
Jess didn't move from his spot on the sofa, only sat and stared at the white wall-to-wall carpeting on the floor beneath his feet as he ran his hand slowly through his hair. He wasn't sure what had happened; one minute they were fighting, the next minute they were sharing a cigarette, and then they were kissing, and then even more. And now she regretted it. He had thought that there was something there, why he thought this after only two days he wasn't quite sure, but he did. Obviously he was wrong, he had read the signals incorrectly. He was pretty sure that he would never understand her, and maybe he really didn't want to. All he knew was that he'd give his left arm for a good hit of something, anything, that would calm him down and make him relax. He started towards the door to go find Vinny or Frankie down on the corner before remembering, with a sudden jolt, that they wouldn't be there and that he didn't have any connections in this neighborhood. His new life was getting more and more difficult by the second. He decided to take a walk anyway, hoping that the fresh air would do him some good.  
  
A few blocks away from their building, Jess came across a park. The green area was a welcome change from the jumble of metal and concrete that surrounded it, and he walked to the middle of a cluster of trees and sat on the ground with his back to a giant oak tree. From that vantage point, the hustle of the city was blocked from his view and he was able to relax, clear his mind of all recent events, and concentrate completely on his book. Since he had given 'The Fountainhead' back to Rory, he had been forced to take one of his well-loved books with him. This time, it was 'Catch-22'. He loved how he could get so wrapped up in Yossarian's crazy life, and, as usual, before he knew it, he found himself finishing the last page. The sky had gotten darker, night had almost fallen. Glancing at his watch, he found that it was late in the evening, well after dinnertime, and he decided that it was time to head back to his new 'home'.  
  
But he didn't want to go back yet, so he took his time walking the few short blocks, even stopping to buy a hot dog from a vendor on the street just to delay his sentence a little longer. No matter how many little stops he took to look at a book in a shop window or bootlegged CDs on the sidewalk, he still found himself getting ever nearer the dreaded place. Before he even knew it, Jess found himself stopped in the midst of a crowd of rushing Manhattanites in front of the side door of the building. Having nothing better to do at this point, and starting to attract odd stares from the strangers on the street, he stepped cautiously into the lobby.  
  
He pulled on the inside door, trying to muster his strength to go up and face 'the family'. He found, however, that the door was locked, and, for the first time, he realized that he didn't have a key to the apartment. He walked over to the intercom box and buzzed the apartment. Thirty seconds, one minute, two minutes passed. He pressed the small black button again, more desperately this time. Still, nobody answered. No one was home, he had left without thinking about how he would get back in, and now he had no idea how long he might have to wait.  
  
There was no choice but to sit and wait, so that's exactly what he did. It was really too bad he hadn't thought to bring another book with him, so he just sat there, skimming the pages of a book he had just finished reading for the fifth time. There were still things he had never noticed before, odd little details that made little or no difference to the understanding of the novel, but he still liked to make note of things like that. Twenty minutes or so went by, and he was still sitting there. He had given up on 'Catch-22', he just didn't have the patience to read the same book twice in one day. Instead, Jess sat there trying to figure out what he would do if Jim and Angie didn't come home soon.  
  
It turned out, however, that Jess wouldn't need to think of any more plans, as a few minutes after he had put his book down, a ragged old lady hobbled into the lobby and fumbled through her purse before finding her key chain. Clink, clink. Wrong key, try again. Finally she got the door open and hobbled her way into the building towards the elevators. Jess stood there staring, almost laughing at the old lady, until he realized that the door was nearly closed. With one swift movement, he grabbed the side of the door and pulled it open before it had a chance to latch. And with that, he was back.  
  
Once at the apartment door, he faced no more problems. A quick swish of a Swiss-Army knife, and the lock was popped open. He figured that he could have opened the door downstairs with that handy knife as well, but he really didn't feel like taking on the security guards at the front desk.   
  
There were lights on in the apartment. He didn't know much about these people, but the average person doesn't normally leave many lights on when they leave home. And there was music playing somewhere. Jess was confused, but also tired and hungry. The hunger won out over them all, so he walked to the kitchen to make himself a peanut butter sandwich. The more he walked around, the more sure he became that there really was no one home. They must just like to keep the power on all the time.   
  
Sandwich in hand, he walked towards his room. On the way, he noticed the television on in the living room, so he decided to turn it off. As he entered the room however, he noticed silhouettes on the couch. Jess turned the light on, to find a tall guy, about his age, with shaggy blond hair asleep against the arm of the couch. And laying in his arms was Rory, a small, contented smile on her face. The shock of the light was getting to her though, and she opened her eyes slowly. Too slowly, perhaps, because all she saw was Jess' retreating back as he headed back out the front door as quickly as he could.  
  
He was completely numb. She had made out with him, but she had a boyfriend. She had ditched Jess to spare this Frankenstein's feelings. And then, when he had been locked outside, she had been in the apartment the whole time and not answered the door. Jess wasn't sure what to think, he only knew that he was screwing everything up. Nothing had been so complicated when he refused to get involved. So, Jess resolved to remain emotionless, to not get involved no matter what. For a few hours, maybe a few days, he had been a little changed, but he realized that he had only managed to get himself hurt and into even more trouble than he was in before.   
  
So now he is going back to the old Jess.  
  
AN: really bad ending I think. Argh. Umm… tell me what you think, please. Is the pace too slow? I think so. I'm going to try to pick it up a little in the next chapters. Please please review, it helps me so much! Thank you for reading, I hope that you're enjoying it despite my crappy writing! 


	6. Truly Stupid Sometimes

Full Circle  
  
AN: Sorry it's been so long, but school is crazy and I've got college apps and tons of stuff to do! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far, it really means a lot to me!!  
  
** Chapter 6- Truly Stupid Sometimes  
  
The next morning, things were very awkward. When Rory walked out of her room and into the kitchen for breakfast, Jess didn't even look up from his cereal. In fact, when she took her own seat at the table, he grabbed his bowl and walked out the door to sit in the living room. She didn't know what to do, but she figured that he just needed some time to cool off, so she dug into her cereal in silence.  
  
Rory was surprised when, after several days, Jess had not yet come to her to talk about what had happened. She was a little hurt because, in the few days she had known him, she felt like they were forming a friendship and had some kind of connection between them. She decided to talk to him the next day, so that they could work things out before school started up again. It took all her patience and composure to wait those twelve hours or so, but somehow she managed to hold out.  
  
After the same morning breakfast ritual the next morning, Rory went to find Jess. He wasn't sitting in the living room as usual, nor was he in his room or the bathroom. She had no idea where he could have gone, so she grabbed a book and went out to the fire escape to wait for him. Much to her surprise, however, as she approached the living room window she saw Jess leaning against the railing, looking out over the horizon. She didn't want to disturb him, but she knew that they needed to work out their problems, so she slid silently out the window and shut it behind her. She couldn't give him a way out.  
  
The thud as the window hit the ledge caught his attention and he turned his head to see what had happened. When he saw that it was Rory, his face became hard and he turned back towards the skyline. She refused to give up, though, and just began to speak. "Jess, look I'm sorry about what happened. I guess I should have told you about Dean." He didn't look at her, but she could distinctly hear his snort at that statement. "I don't want you to be mad at me. I thought we had something going between the two of us, we were getting along really well. We don't need to let the fact that I have a boyfriend get in the way of us being friends."  
  
"Huh." That was all he said in response. Rory was more confused than she had been before, and she was hurt that he wouldn't talk to her. "What? Why won't you talk to me? I already told you I'm sorry!"  
  
This time, he turned his body around completely and leaned his back against the railing, with arms crossed on his chest. At that moment she thought that if looks could kill, she would already be six-feet-under. Jess didn't say anything for a few minutes, he just stared, possible to determine whether or not she was being serious. Then he drew in a deep breath and began.  
  
"Geez Rory, I don't know. Maybe it's because you were making out with me when you had a boyfriend, and you didn't even deign to let me in on that little fact. Here I am, being completely open with someone for practically the first time in my life and then I realize the reason to keep yourself, and all your emotions, bottled up inside."  
  
She smiled a small, very sad smile. "You're right. I was so completely wrong, I never should have hooked up with you when I've been going out with Dean since, well, forever. But, honestly, what could I do? I find someone who is intriguing and smart and I know that there's this connection. My heart and my body takes over, leaving my brain in the dust. When I finally came to my senses, I knew that I couldn't justifiably throw away two years of my life because of some 'connection'. But I couldn't just, I don't know, let it go like that, just let 'us' go. I couldn't see you hurt if I told you that I was dating someone else."  
  
Jess did his famous snort again. "Well golly-gee Rory, I'm glad that you were looking out for my feelings so much that you let me walk in on you and Frankenstein."  
  
"I know, I know. For all the books I read, and the amount of school work that I do, it's amazing how truly stupid I can be sometimes. But I just didn't know what to do, and I still don't. I'm on the verge of losing something no matter what path I choose. On one hand, I could jump into something new and lose a huge chunk of my past, of a relationship that has been there for me. Granted, it hasn't been the most exciting thing at all times, but it's been stable and comfortable."  
  
Here, Jess felt the need to interrupt her monologue. "Do you love him?"  
  
She hesitated for a minute, struggling over her response. "I guess I do. I mean, I've told him that I love him, and in a way I do. But its more like the way you love your brother or your best friend. I don't know that I'm IN love with him. And if I were to stay with Dean, I would be losing the possibility for something great here with us, something new and exciting and completely different. And I couldn't just make up my mind in an instant, so I did the safe thing, which was to avoid the situation at all costs. Obviously my plan did work as well as I would have thought."  
  
Jess seemed to turn back into 'silent Jess', grumpy and brooding. "Well I'm sorry that I caused so much turmoil in your life."  
  
"Why would you say something like that? It's not your fault, if anything, I brought this upon myself for not addressing the situation earlier. It's just not the easiest decision to make."  
  
A pained expression appeared on Jess' face before he spoke again. "Yeah, well you won't need to worry about your 'tough decision' any longer." He could tell by the way her forehead wrinkled and her eyebrows came together that she was confused, that she didn't understand what he was implying. "I'm not going to break you and your precious boyfriend up. I'm leaving."  
  
** AN: Ahhh! Cliffhanger!! I'm sorry!! Don't hate me, I'm the biggest lit fan in the WORLD! It will get better! I suck at dialogue, so this chapter was less than great. Ugh. And I promise that the idea for this chapter came in no way from another show which I may or may not be obsessed with! It's all mine, it just happens to seem familiar to some of you. I promise to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, and it will be much better written! Please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. Thank you! 


	7. The One Chance

Full Circle  
  
AN: So, wow. I am now officially waiting to hear if I get into college. That's pretty exciting. So now that that's all done, I only have about a million other things to worry about. I wanted to get this chapter off my back before I forget everything. Argh, more dialogue, which I cannot write for my life. Sorry! Please keep reviewing, you all are amazing!  
  
**  
  
Chapter Seven- The One Chance  
  
Rory was dumbstruck. He had just shown up a few days ago, and now he was going to leave (again). It was a concept that she couldn't understand. She thought that she had explained to Jess the consequences of running away, the fact that he had it really good here with Jim and Angie. But no, he didn't listen, and now she was going to lose him. All she knew was that she had to act fast. So she did.  
  
"Umm. Okay. In that case, I'm coming with you."  
  
Jess actually laughed out loud when Rory said this. He couldn't believe how childishly desperate she sounded.  
  
"Rory, you can't just pack up and come with me."  
  
"No? Why not? You're doing it. What difference does it make if I do the same thing?"  
  
He didn't respond, not at first. He just looked into her eyes, trying to discern her motives and to convey his own message. It was not until he failed at reading her expression, and her complete ignorance of his attempt at nonverbal communication that he voiced his reply.  
  
"You don't know what its like out there. You don't know how hard it's been for me, having grown up in the inner city and suddenly I'm transported to this place where it's like a fairy tale and I've got nothing to do all day except sit around and read and be home by dinner time. I don't belong here in this world, I need to go back out there where people know me, and people don't care as much. You've spend enough time here to not have to deal with any of that crap. So don't go and ruin everything by trying to come along with me."  
  
Rory took a minute to get her thoughts in order before spitting her response back at him. "You think that I don't know what its like to live out there? Before I came here, that's the life I lived, and just because I've been here longer than you, it doesn't mean that I belong here either. I don't want to be here any more than you do."  
  
"You can't just suddenly decide that you're going to leave the good things you've got here just because you want to follow me. You don't know how to survive in my world, you'll get shot. Is that what you want?"  
  
"No, I don't want to get shot," Rory replied, "but I won't. I know how to handle myself. So when are we leaving?"  
  
"What about college Rory? Are you just going to give up on that, on your one chance in life to go on some stupid adventure with somebody like me?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah I am willing to give up on that because it's not my 'one chance in life'. The only reason that I ever wanted to go to college was to get away from this and start over on my own. I can do that now. I don't know why I never thought of this before. I think it's kind of ridiculous that I should have to take out a crazy amount of loans to pay thirty or forty thousand dollars each year just to get away from this life that I've been living."  
  
"Rory, I can't just take you with me. It's a liability that I'm not willing to have. I understand that you want to get away, but we can't run away and get out of sight if there's two of us."  
  
Rory didn't know what to say. Since she just found out that Jess had made the decision to leave, she doesn't know any of the details and hasn't given any though to how it would work if they ran away. She was just counting on Jess to come up with a foolproof plan. She decided now was the time to find out exactly what he, no, they, were going to do and where they would go.  
  
"Where are we going to go? What were your amazing plans that I would somehow ruin if I came along?"  
  
"I don't know. First things first, get out of here. Lay low, stay inconspicuous for a while. I've got friends that would let me stay with them for a few days. Then, after a day or two, get out of the city."  
  
She smiled devilishly as she informed him that it didn't sound very complicated, and that she was sure she could handle everything. Then she turned on her heel and crawled back through the window. Once she was back inside the apartment, she turned back to face him again and said, "Just let me know when you're leaving. I'll be ready." And with that, she walked down the hallway towards her room in order to pack her belongings, while Jess stared at her retreating form. When she had turned the corner and could no longer be seen, he turned back towards the skyline and began contemplating the changes he would have to make to his plan to ensure her safety in his hands.  
  
Dusk fell, the substitute parents came home, dinner was eaten, and each person present went their own direction for the rest of the night. When Jess was sure that Jim and Angie were asleep, and all the lights were turned out in the apartment, he went and slowly opened Rory's bedroom door. The light from the moon came through the window and shone directly on the bed where Rory lay, tangled in her sheets, fast asleep. He didn't know whether or not to wake her up, and deciding that his best course of action would be to leave unnoticed, he tiptoed back out into the hallway. Before he closed the door however, he noticed that many of her books were missing off her shelf and he saw broken shards of her precious "Piggy" the piggybank on the dresser. Then he knew that she was serious about coming with him, and there was no way that he could leave now without waking her up.  
  
So he stepped back into the room and gently shook her shoulder. She grumbled something unintelligible and rolled onto her stomach. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how to wake her up appropriately without startling her, so he just stood there. One minute went by, two, then three. Eventually he decided to go for it, and covering her mouth so she couldn't scream, pulled the covers away from her body and pulled her legs so that her feet rested on the floor. Her eyes opened with a start, but when she realized who had woken her up, she relaxed again. Jess realized that she was fully dressed already, shoes and all, so he told her to get everything that she would need and meet him in the living room in ten minutes. He smiled to think that she had been telling the truth when she said that she would 'be ready', but then he kicked himself for being so amused when he was going to get them both killed.  
  
He went back to his room, picked up the duffel bag that he had never unpacked, and looked around the room to make sure he didn't forget anything. Then, he walked soundlessly to the kitchen, opened the cupboards and refrigerator, and loaded some food into his bag. He wasn't sure how much they'd need, but he figured it was better safe than sorry and grabbed a few oranges and bananas from the bowl on the table. Then he did one quick sweep of the room and noticed the cookie jar on top of the cabinets. He knew what was inside it, although Jim and Angie never told the kids. He felt a flash of guilt pass over him, but then it was gone as he reached his hand inside and pulled out the contents. He had no other choice, they wouldn't be able to survive otherwise. And so, with that, he went to the living room to wait for Rory.  
  
AN: Okay, a very strange chapter, I thought. Sorry this took me so long to get out, I'm going to try to be better about updating. Please let me know what you think about this chapter and the story as a whole, I really appreciate the feedback! Thanks! 


	8. Different at Night

Full Circle  
  
AN: Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing this story so far, it really means a lot to me! And thanks to the two people who reviewed the last chapter: smile1 and Emily Carol! Merci Beaucoup! In response to a few questions, I know that Rory's reasoning is hard to understand, but this is AU. She's led the same strange, demented life forever, and her personality is bound to be a little bit different. I know it doesn't make sense in canon, but, like I say, it's AU. This chapter is where everything becomes interesting, so please continue reviewing, and let me know what you think!  
  
**  
  
Chapter 8- Different at Night  
  
And so Jess waited in the living room, and within a few minutes Rory came out, lugging a carry bag on her shoulder. She looked at him, impatient to leave, but he just stood there, not moving a muscle. "Okay, Rory, here's the deal. It's late, it's dark out. We are going to be staying with a friend of mine, we'll sleep there tonight, and then I've got some things to do there in the morning. We need to be careful, it's dangerous to be out this late. You need to stick with me, don't get separated."  
  
Rory's eyes are focused on the carpet and she just nods her head. As they walk towards the window, Jess notices that she isn't looking forward, but instead taking one last look around the apartment. "Are you sure you want to do this? You can always stay here, and nothing would change."  
  
She shakes her head and continues out the window onto the fire escape. They make their way quietly down the ladder, Jess in front to make sure that Rory wouldn't fall. Their bags are heavy, and it's difficult to carry them down, but they manage well enough. At the end of the ladder, there is a six foot drop to street level. Jess lets his own bag fall, then takes Rory's and drops that one as well. Then Jess drops stealthily, landing like a cat, and Rory knows that this isn't the first time he's done this. Rory hangs from the last rung, scared that she would hurt herself if she let go. He reaches up, grabs hold of her hips, and encourages her to let go. When she does, she is pleasantly surprised at how strong Jess is as he lowers her slowly to the ground.  
  
So, now they are on the sidewalk, they pick up their bags, and Jess leads the way through the shadows. They make a right, two lefts, and then they cut through an alley Rory hadn't even known was there. She is officially lost, but she knows that Jess has a good sense of direction, so she follows close on his heels. It is late, and her eyelids are drooping, but the cool summer night breeze keeps her lucid enough to continue walking.  
  
One more block, and suddenly he is leading her down a steep flight of stairs into the dark. Of course, having grown up in New York, she had taken public transportation, and was even quite adept at it. As they paid their fares and walked through the subway turnstiles, however, she was shocked to see how different it was at night. They stood on the platform and waited for their train- which one, Rory was unsure. She looked around her and observed the different people. There is a homeless man sleeping on a bench, and a group of young 'kids' hovering in a circle. She shivers unconsciously, and bounces on the balls of her feet as she hears a train arrive.  
  
But, no, this isn't their train, since Jess doesn't move when the doors open and then close again. Rory feels the urge to whistle some tune that's been stuck in her head, but decides against it. Jess glances at his watch, and then drops his arm to his side again. She doesn't ask what train they're waiting for, or when it's coming, but just remains silent at his side. Two more trains come and go, but still it is not their turn.  
  
She begins entertaining herself by kicking her bag on the floor next to her, until Jess gives her a warning nudge and a harsh "Rory!" whispered in her ear. 'Right, no drawing attention', she told herself. So she went silent again, and soon enough a train pulled into the station and Jess took her hand and led her into a car in the middle. She noted that it was train V, and given the direction it was going (east), it meant they were going into Brooklyn. With a quick eye he scanned the seats, and noticing only a few people towards the back, grabbed the two least conspicuous seats near the front. He let Rory go in first, and then he took the outside seat. The whole time the train was in motion, he was constantly looking over his shoulder and keeping an eye on the doors when they stopped at each station.  
  
Rory couldn't help it when her eyes finally fell closed, and she dozed off. The fast rhythm of the train was just too monotonous, and she had been so comfortable sleeping in her bed at home- no, not 'home', but Jim and Angie's apartment- that she couldn't get used to the fact that she was now awake. A few minutes later, as best she could tell, Jess was pulling on her arm to get her to stand up. Apparently they had arrived at their station. This was a bigger one than they had started off in, and Jess kept hold of her arm as he led her across the platform. He stopped in front of a sign, and looked around him. When he was satisfied that he knew exactly where he was going, he started walking again, Rory right behind him. Up a short flight of stairs, down onto another platform, all the way to the end. And then they waited some more. Rory was not at all familiar with where they were now, so she just stuck close to Jess. Hell, wasn't that what he had told her to do?  
  
They got on another train, this time going north. The trip was much shorter, and when they got off, Rory was pleased to discover that there would be no more transfers. Instead, Jess led her up the stairs, out through more turnstiles, and up yet one more flight of stairs. The subway had been warm, and Rory was shocked by the cool air on the street. She hugged her arms to herself as she struggled with her bag and with the quick pace of Jess' steps. She had been to Brooklyn a few times, but this was not like any of the places she had visited. The streets and sidewalks were covered in litter, every inch of wall space was filled with graffiti. The streets weren't lit at this time of night, and Rory couldn't help but get an ominous feeling about the situation as a whole.  
  
It seemed that Jess was walking quicker, and Rory was getting more and more tired by the second. No words had been spoken between them since the start of their trip other than the warning he had given her in the subway. Instead, he encouraged her to keep walking by gentle squeezes on her arm and reassuring half-smiles when she looked his way. They cut across the street, and into what Rory discovered, was a park. It was completely dark, but she could vaguely make out the figures of people looming off to the side. Jess put his arm around her waist, a gesture that in any other circumstance would be considered romantic or affectionate, but now was only a way to keep her close to him, an added measure of protection. This time, he really did pick up his speed.  
  
Jess had never liked being in this neighborhood, even during the day, but now he had to admit that it scared the shit out of him. He knew they had no choice, however, and was silently thankful that they would only need to put up with this for one day. Then, he could get them both out. They rounded a corner and turned to enter a shabby run down apartment building. In the lobby, Jess gave Rory another warning.  
  
"This guy, he's tough. Just stay quiet, let me handle him and everything will work out. We need this, so no matter what happens we can't screw it up, so I'll take care of it. I know how to deal with guys like this."  
  
Rory nodded slowly, but didn't look him in the eye. Instead she focused on his hand as he reached up and pushed the buzzer. 2-C. They waited, no answer. She glanced at the watch on his wrist- 1:49. He let a few more seconds go by, and then pressed the button again, longer this time. Nothing. Out of frustration, he makes a quick succession of beeps of the button and stands back. This time, a few seconds later, a groggy voice comes over the speaker.  
  
"Yo, what the fuck is going on down there?"  
  
Jess' upper lip twists up into something that isn't quite a smirk, but isn't really a grimace either. He steps closer to the box again, to speak into it. "Donnie man, it's Jess. Let me up."  
  
There is some unintelligible grumbling, and a few curses as Donnie obviously stumbles to find the right button, but then "BZZZZ" and they're inside. Rory looks around for the door of the elevator, but Jess just tugs her along to the stairwell at the end of the hall. The stairs are dim, as there is only one flickering light on the landing above. They take the steps slowly, tired from the walk, careful not to trip, and struggling with the weight of their bags.  
  
A right turn out of the door brings them into a long hallway, with lots of doors running down both sides, each impossibly close together. The wallpaper is peeling, many of the floor tiles have broken, and most of the numbers marking the doors have fallen off. She could swear there were two bullet holes in the wall between two doors. Rory coughs, clearing her throat, but makes no comment. Jess doesn't need the numbers to find the right door, and he stands in front of it, bracing himself. Then, he raises his hand and bangs on the door with the side of his fist.  
  
A moment later, the door swings open, a little quickly, and they are ushered inside.  
  
** AN: Okay, well that's all very interesting. I don't know if I like it. Note the random changes in style and tense from previous chapters and even within this one chapter. I think my writing is going crazy. I could use some help: I know what will happen on their trip, I have a vague idea of what will happen when they get where they're going, but I have no idea where I want to send them. I know that I don't want them in SH, I was thinking major cities. They don't have a lot of money, so they'll need someplace cheap to live. I'm having trouble, and if you are familiar with a city and could email me with ideas, along with your reviews :) it would be much appreciated! 


	9. Sweat, Pot, and Sex

Full Circle  
  
Chapter 9- Sweat, Pot, and Sex  
  
**  
  
The apartment was pitch black, and it had a funny smell, musty perhaps, but there was more to it than that. A faint smell of sweat and pot and sex mixed with the smell of the wet floors to make it almost nauseating. The shuffle of feet led them towards a more open space, and a light was turned on. Then Rory got her first glimpse of Donnie.  
  
He was not exactly tall, but still, he had a few inches on Jess. He had short-cropped black hair, and a scruffy beard that looked like no one had dared touch it in a few days. He had beady black eyes that almost bored holes right through her when he glanced at her. She figured that some people would probably consider him attractive, although she couldn't really see it. She noted that he did not look pleased to be woken up at two o'clock in the morning.  
  
Donnie spoke first, since this WAS his apartment and all. The sound came out scratchy, as though he needed to clear his throat. He didn't, however, and continued to speak. "Mariano! Man, where the hell have you been?" Taking a moment to think about this, Donnie seemed to get a revelation, and continued, "And why the fuck are you showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night?"  
  
Jess, clearly trying to avoid the complicated situation all together, responded in his typical cryptic way. "We're on our way out of the city. I'm gonna need to talk to you about some things in the morning, but right now we just need a place to crash." Donnie's expression did not show surprise or anger at Jess' response, but instead he seemed rather pleased with the lack of explanation. This was the first time, it seemed, that he really noticed Rory standing there beside Jess, and he took his time looking her up and down. There were no more questions asked about what was going on, and they were both relieved. Instead, Donnie just brought them into the small living room that also doubled as a guest room judging by the mattress that was laid out on the floor. There was no couch, only a reclining lounger and two stiff wooden chairs.  
  
There were sheets on the bed, and blankets, but they were messed up and obviously had not been changed since the last person had slept there. It was a disturbing revelation, but Rory was determined not to show shock or fear in these new situations since she had been so adamant about her decision to go and about her knowledge of "his world".  
  
Donnie left them alone in the room, already half-asleep, and walked back to his own bedroom across the hall. The apartment really only consisted of the one bedroom, the living room, a bathroom which Rory guessed was hidden off the bedroom somewhere, and a very small kitchenette. Not that apartments this size were necessarily bad, considering she had lived in enough of them before she had come to Jim and Angie, but this was particularly messy and the clutter made it seem much smaller than it actually was. Once she had nothing left to look at in the apartment, she finally looked towards Jess.  
  
He seemed lost in thought, and decided not to disturb him. He was back in his old life, with his old friends, and Rory figured that he needed some time for himself. She just hoped that going back to the 'old Jess' didn't change their relationship. Pondering all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, she grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt, and went to the bathroom to get changed. When she came out, she found that he had claimed the recliner for himself, thus leaving the bed for her. He watched her walk over to the mattress and sit down, but he never said a word. When he saw that she had settled and was safely falling asleep, he finally turned over onto his side and closed his eyes.  
  
Rory was a little squeamish about sleeping in the bed, but she did it because she knew that there were no other options. The mattress was more comfortable than she expected, but not by much. But soon enough, she found herself falling into a restless sleep, filled with horrifying nightmares of her early childhood. They were things she had never seen before, things she was pretty sure had never happened, but still, they scared her. Her mother was running down the stairs of their first apartment building, fleeing a masked assailant. Then, Rory was sitting back in that living room on the day that Social Services came and took her to live with a new family.  
  
This time, however, she couldn't see their faces and instead of speaking to her, they just encroached upon her, slowly, until she had no escape. When they grabbed her arms, she screamed so loudly that she was sure they would run away in fear. They didn't, and she just closed her eyes and sobbed for her mother. They were shaking her, rocking her back and forth. It wasn't until she heard her name being called that she floated back to reality.  
  
Jess was kneeling on the edge of the mattress, softly shaking Rory's shoulders. She opened her eyes slowly, feeling the wetness of her cheeks with the back of her hand. She felt a little silly having cried over a nightmare like a child, and gave a weak smile when she finally looked up into Jess' face. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, making sure that she was alright. She maintained eye contact and sat up carefully before she spoke a word.  
  
"I'm sorry I woke you up. God, I feel so stupid! I haven't had these nightmares in years."  
  
She drew her knees to her chest, and stared at the pattern of the threadbare sheets. He took her hand in his, trying to be comforting. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
She shook her head, sniffled a little bit, and wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. She figured that she probably looked like crap, all blotchy and red from crying, but she didn't care. She was glad that Jess was there, so close to her. No one else had ever cared for her when she had nightmares, and now she realized what she had been missing.  
  
She shook her head again, trying to emphasize the point that she didn't want to talk about anything, not her past, nor the dreams that she was sure were long gone but had suddenly resurfaced. Instead, she lay back down, looking up into his face. "Will you just sleep here next to me tonight so I don't have to be scared?"  
  
His face showed his uncertainty. He looked around the room, avoiding her gaze as he contemplated the request with conflicting thoughts. She was frightened, and she just needed to be comforted. There was no hidden message, there couldn't be. He knew that this was too much for her to undertake, this trip, and he wished that he had never told her of his plans to leave. Now he was being asked to share a bed with the one girl who had actually made him care, and whom he found he couldn't resist.  
  
Jess wasn't sure that he could trust himself with her, but one more look at her face, filled with pain and fear, told him all he needed to know. He lifted the ratty blanket and slid slowly into the bed, but lay stiff on his back, refusing to touch more than her hand. Her scent was intoxicating, though, and when she curled into his side when she slept, he thoughtlessly tossed his arm across her stomach to protect her and to keep her close.  
  
That is the position in which they both woke suddenly the next morning, startled to see many pairs of eyes staring at them in the bright light.  
  
**  
  
AN: Happy belated holidays to all! Sorry this chapter's taken so long. I hope that you are enjoying the story. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, it really means a lot. Please continue to review, it really helps me in my writing process. Tell me if you love it, if you hate it, or if you just don't get it! Thanks! 


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